It fucking sucks. I suspect it's a crock of shit.
I loathe getting bogged down in existentialism.
Say you habitually pick the wrong people to get involved with. Say you're impressionable, a gemini, in flux, easily emotionally attached to others...someone who at times resembles a chameleon. Not in a bad way - rather an avid learner of all things of the world, eager to absorb all that it and it's inhabitants have to offer. You embrace the intricacies of life. You understand the necessity of good and bad to co-exist. You understand the need for balance of all things and that we've inexorably strayed from that... but I digress.
The wrong people will effectively break you down and mold you to into their servant, robbing you of your individuality. This is not always intentional and it can be hard to turn away from them. But maybe, once the fog is lifted and a few rays of common sense break through, you have just enough moxie to rebel. Consequently you are no longer of any use and cast aside. This is supposed to be your cue to "find yourself". This is supposed to be growth.
It is extremely difficult to find the way back to your path. If there ever truly was one. Maybe some of us are wanderers. And maybe that's okay despite what "they" say. When do you know you've had enough "self discovery"? When does it ever feel right? What if you've never felt that? What's wrong with knowing you're already strong enough and ignoring what "they" say we should do and think and feel? I say fuck their definition of growth. It makes you feel old.
I've had enough "growth" to last my lifetime.
But when does the loneliness go away so you can be comfortable simply with being?
What do I want?
I want to be real. I want to be adored for being the genuine novelty that I am. I want to dart in and out of the various phases of my life. I wish I could meet more people like me. Where are you?
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